Don't Lose Yourself
Entrepreneurship attracts a certain kind of person - fiercely independent, resourceful, used to figuring things out alone. But there’s a difference between being self-sufficient and being stubborn. And most of us don’t spot the line until we’re already burned out, brittle, or stuck.
We buy into the myth of the solo operator. We wear “I did it all myself” like a badge of honour. But the truth is: nobody does it alone. Not sustainably. Not sanely.
I used to think asking for help meant weakness. I didn’t want to look unprofessional, unready, or incapable. So I waited. Delayed. Fumbled forward in silence. All while help was sitting just out of reach - not because it wasn’t available, but because I hadn’t learned how to ask.
When I finally did, I realised something shocking. The right kind of help doesn’t make you smaller - it makes you stronger.
A time I nearly got swallowed by the wrong advice
Getting overwhelmed by doubt after hearing other poeple's advice has happened to me so often, I can't tell you. Even now, I have to really weigh up the advice my excellent mentors give me, very carefully, to make sure it is something that I am capable of doing, would enjoy doing and that aligns with my values.
Early in my coaching days, I hired a mentor who was all systems, funnels, and force. I was drawn in by their confidence, by how polished - and dare I say easy? - it all seemed. They had a “way” - and I followed it to the letter.
Only… it wasn’t mine. I sounded like someone else. My message got diluted. My clients got confused. And worst of all, I started to feel embarrassed by my own content and offers.
That experience taught me a painful but powerful lesson. Help that overrides your instincts is just another form of self-abandonment.
So how do you accept help without losing yourself?
Here’s the model I use now — feel free to steal it:
1. Clarify your Compass
Know what matters to you. Values, boundaries, vision. If you don’t know your true north, any map will do - even the wrong one.
2. Curate your Circle
Not all help is helpful. Who’s earned the right to speak into your business? Who actually understands where you’re trying to go?
3. Keep your Core Sound
Take advice - but keep your voice. The right help will enhance your message, not rewrite it. Stay in the room with yourself.
4. Commit to Collaboration
Receiving help isn’t passive. It’s co-creation. The best support happens when you stay engaged, curious, and willing to shape the outcome together.
The invisible support you already rely on
Even when you think you’re doing it all alone, you’re not.
You’re leaning on books someone else wrote. Software someone else coded. Frameworks someone else taught you. The cleaner who sorts your house out and empties your bins. The neighbour who watches your kid. The friend who listens without judgement.
Support doesn’t always look like a formal hire. Sometimes it’s just remembering that you are held - and choosing to let more of that in, consciously.
Today’s Action:
Write down three areas where you’re currently struggling.
Ask:
Is this something I actually want help with?
What kind of support would feel empowering?
What’s one small ask I could make today?
Make the ask. Just one.
And if that still feels terrifying - ask yourself why.
What story are you telling yourself about receiving support?
The better entrepreneur doesn’t just accept help.
They learn how to stay themselves while letting it in.
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Session 4: Accept Help Without Losing Yourself
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Photo by Neil Thomas on Unsplash